


The Unfathomable Bin Hatch Continuum

by MisterKipbiter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Major Parrot Death, Trying to Not Be Hungry With Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-24 09:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20356321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisterKipbiter/pseuds/MisterKipbiter
Summary: The beautiful, resplendent rebirth of brown bricks being built in Minecraft.Written and Illustrated by: Brian Hatch and The Great Paragraph.





	1. The Founding

Once upon a time... there was a Minecraft realm called Dayman's Spiel. Three Accursed travellers known as: The Great Paragraph, Mister Kipbiter and Brian Hatch.

In the beginning, an epic base was constructed. A wooden shack which became home to not only the three travellers, but a now fabled creation. Brian Hatch produced a means of rubbish disposal. At first, the travellers knew not of the Bin's incredible power it was soon to bestow upon them, only that it served a phenomenal purpose; a pit of lava in the floor, contained only within a metal hatch.

Later in their journey, the Three Prophets of Bin Hatchia found themselves joined by a venturing nomad known only as Felsic. Said nomad was gradually inducted into Bin Hatch society, grafting their way through the harsh conditions laid down by the Bin Hatch itself. One of the Grand Prophets, The Great Paragraph, was compelled by the Hatch to forge a great wall between the two settlements, starting a blood feud.

After many weeks of inactivity, Felsic's home was now completely overgrown with trees and other sorts of foliage, nature had run its course.

Another of the Grand Prophets, Mister Kipbiter, took this as opportunity to create what is now referred to as The Execrable Elevator. The Execrable Elevator earned the honourable World Record for "The Least Functional Elevator Devised by Man", having been broken within the first hour of it's creation and once again soon after being repaired. Many died in the operating time of The Execrable Elevator, none of which will be missed nor remembered.

During these times, the third and final Grand Prophet, Brian Hatch, was constructing a dark, forbidden containment unit. Thus Prison was conceived. Prison's first victim was none other than the nomad Felsic. This event was documented in Bin Hatch historical works as:

<felsic> hi  
<DoktorRichtofen>: welcome to prison  
<felsic> wait what

__

The two true heralds of Bin Hatch honour were hard at work creating the first ever official Bin Hatch Headquarters, situated beside one of nature's greatest feats: Nature's Bin Hatch. The two spent many a day here, plotting against the later disgraced and disowned Mister Kipbiter.

Bin Hatch 1 serves as a grim reminder that everyone can become a casualty of war - including world files.

END ACT 1.


	2. Spin-off 1: Sideway Minecraft

Soon after the fall of the high and mighty Bin Hatch 1, something stirred deep within the original Bin Hatch Headquarters. A forboding prescence that nobody could’ve forseen, a minor part of the Bin Hatch’s true potential and Prison’s latest development: Interdimensional Travel. 

Interdimensional Travel would prove incredibly useful in the endeavours of the remaining two Grand Prophets. On their journeys through multiple different dimensions and timelines, The Great Paragraph and Brian Hatch met with two now heralded Bin Hatch officials. These two were known then as Mister Arbiter and aAAAAAAAAAA. The Grand Prophets now boasted their largest membership count of four (4).

These four legendary adventurers decided to continue their indulgence into the hasty use of Interdimensional Travel, landing themselves in an alternate universe that is commonly referred to as “Sideway Minecraft”.

Sideway Minecraft was a bizarre, psychedelic foray into a taboo world, not too dissimilar to that of the 7th level of hell. 

As an offering to the Bin Hatch, Brian Hatch set out to create a worthy offering of its greatness. Thus, House Man was constructed under the guise that it would also serve as an ideal living quarters for the Grand Prophets. House Man was an incredible building. Reminiscent of what may be referred to as quite the absolute unit. Beside his right foot lay a dank basement which contained hundreds upon hundreds of banners obtained by the Grand Prophets during their stay in this universe, all serving their own unique, monster-killing purpose.

Brian Hatch later found themself overwhelmed by the sheer power of the now glasses wearing, facial hair-having, ear-obtaining and balding House Man and ventured left, creating a settlement separate to the House Man entity. This came as a surprise to nobody because House Man is an affront to all mankind.

No one would’ve believed that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could’ve dreamed that we were being scrutinised as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even consider the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes and slowly, but surely, they drew their plans against us. 

After a Martian Probe set its sights on Mister Arbiter, nothing was ever to be the same.

Many historians recognise this dark day as “The Eve of the War”.

The Grand Prophets of Bin Hatch, after countless casualties, proved victorious. This was the end of their journey into the great dimension of Sideway Minecraft.

END ACT 2, SCENE 1.


End file.
